


What Needs to Be Said

by PlutoApologist



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-16 09:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19644994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlutoApologist/pseuds/PlutoApologist
Summary: Alyssa knew the fight wasn't over after the prom, but she had no clue to expect. She didn't expect this.





	What Needs to Be Said

Alyssa smoothed over the fabric of her dress, her eyes flitting between her dark house and Emma’s comforting eyes. The whole drive home, her heart had been hammering in her chest, the worst things her moth could say to her playing out in her head. Emma took her hand tenderly, caressing it with a light touch. Alyssa chuckled, just noticing her singing lightly along to the radio.

“I'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen,” Emma sang, the streetlight illuminating her tentative smile. She frowned at how short-lived Alyssa’s laughter was. 

“You can stay at my place tonight if you want. Grandma wouldn’t mind. As long as we keep the door open three inches. Because of…this,” Emma leaned in for a kiss already smiling. Alyssa leaned back; her shoulders tight.

“I’m sorry Em, it just feels wrong here. It’s like I can feel her watching me.”

“Oh, I understand.” An awkward silence passed between them, Bruno Mars crooning a love song on the radio the only comforting thing. “Betsy makes a good breakfast. After everything you’ve been through that’s the least you deserve.”

“God bless Betsy,” Alyssa laughed, letting her other hand rest on top of Emma’s. She fidgeted nervously in her seat, biting her lip. “But I have to do this. She’s finally ready to talk and I need her Emma. I know you might not get it, but- “

“I understand. I believe in you. You can do anything Alyssa Greene.”

“After coming out to my mom in front of everyone, I’m starting to believe that.” Emma turned off the radio, her eyes dark and serious. She took a breath to say something, but no words came out. Tears pricked at the corner of Emma’s eyes. “Emma, what is it?”

“I don’t even want you to imagine you getting hurt…” Emma sounded choked up, the tears still clinging stubbornly to her. “But if she does hurt you, I’ll be there for you. No matter what. Hell or highwater. My bat’s still in the shed from when I did softball and - “

The tears that had been stubbornly clinging fell as Emma’s words came out in an unrecognizable mess. Alyssa wiped away Emma’s tears gently with her thumb. Emma sniffled, tears catching on her slightly upturned lip.

“Emma it’s going be okay. If not, I’ll call you and Jerusha right over.”

“You remember that I named my bat,” Emma sniffled. 

“Yeah, I did. I’m gonna go talk to my mom and everything is going to be fine. I’m gonna see in school on Monday and we might even hold each other’s hands in public. Okay?” Alyssa said, each word calm and methodical. Emma smiled and nodded at her, still emotional to talk. Alyssa wiped her hands on her dress, just realizing how sweaty her hands were. She felt Emma’s stare on her back as she got out of the car and started up the walkway, ignoring how much she wanted to turn back and spend the whole night in Emma’s arms. Emma was warm and safe, while her mother was an unknown foreign wasteland that she had to fight with just to live in. Emma tapped Alyssa’s shoulder, making her jump in surprise. 

“I know you don’t want to kiss in front of the house, but I feel like I’m supposed to do something after a date, so…” Blushing, Emma took her hand and planted a gentle kiss on it. Alyssa giggled as Emma scuffed her shoes, not looking in her eyes. “Was that the right thing to do? I didn’t want to mess this up.”

“It was perfect. You’ll be my good luck charm.” 

“Good luck, Alyssa.” A pregnant pause sat between them, filled with just their breaths. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alyssa said softly, only for Emma to hear. She was the only who needed to know. 

Alyssa watched Emma walk back to her car and gave her a thumbs up. She took a deep breath and straightened her posture. She wasn’t about to give her mother one more thing to criticize her about. She glimpsed back at her girlfriend wiping her eyes and turned back quickly. It was time to face the music. She closed her eyes, leaning against the doorway for support. If she had to channel her strength into walking how could she handle an argument with her mother. Not even years of debate club could prepare her for that.

It was like a punch to the gut when she was just greeted by darkness. Was this what Emma felt like walking into the fake prom? She clicked the light on, holding out the faintest hope that her mother was sitting there ready to talk. Perhaps she wasn’t a lost cause. The hope sizzled down when the light illuminated nothing but an empty room. Alyssa kicked off her sneakers off with a huff. She plopped down on the couch and massaged her feet, sore from dancing all night. She dragged herself to the kitchen, the tile cold against her bare feet. Nothing was as cold as the rejection she felt when she didn’t see her mom waiting and ready when she got home though. Normally, she wouldn’t be allowed to snack on things like Cheezits, but tonight was her night. She was going to eat as much she wanted. She lounged on the sofa, putting the Cheezits between her legs, not caring where the crumbs went. 

Alyssa scrolled lazily through twitter, her heart feeling lighter at each positive post about the prom. She cursed as she accidentally tipped the Cheezits box over with her foot. She paused her clean up, catching her name on the piece of paper. It could only be from her mother. Alyssa chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. She could put her heart out on the line and walk the tricky tightrope of trust again. The first step was always the hardest, though. She brushed the Cheezits away and leaned back, staring at the paper as if it contained the secrets of the universe. At least the secrets of her mother’s universe. She had never truly understood her mother. Perhaps she could. She brought the letter close enough to read, her hands trembling a little. 

My superstar,  
I know I said I was ready to talk about everything, but I don’t know if I am. I know I let you down and I’m sorry. I figured the least I could do was to get my thoughts down for you on paper. Alyssa, you are the best daughter I could have asked for and you’ve been braver than I could ever be. I can’t imagine what you went through when we held the first prom. This family has gone through so much and I thought I was helping to hold us up. I didn’t know I was doing the exact opposite. I should’ve cared about my daughter than my pride. I should’ve seen the signs. I understand if you hate me. But I want you to know that you can to me about your issues. Even ones that involve you being gay. During the first prom I should have taken an example from the kindest, bravest person I’ve ever known: my daughter. You were right. I did grow in a different generation. I was letting that blind me. I can’t promise that’s I’m going to change overnight. It might take years. I might say things that are wrong. It might be too late already. I still want to be your mother. I want to see you in your wedding dress and say you look beautiful in it. I hadn’t imagined that you would marry a woman, but I want to see you happy, even if it goes against what I thought. The weird Broadway actor was right. I could lose you and I can’t imagine a future where I’m not your mother. I don’t want to become an ugly part of your past that you brush away if it’s not too late for that. I want to take you to college orientation and embarrass you in front of the other students. I want to see you graduate college. Accepting you being gay meant accepting your future was going to be difficult and I couldn’t face that. I didn’t mean for my cowardice to make it harder for you. I regret hurting you Alyssa and I hope someday you can trust me wholeheartedly again. I hope you can come to me when life is hard, and I hope that life goes smoothly as it can for you. You were so brave to come out to me like that and I’m trying to do my part in return. Alyssa, you will always be my daughter no matter who your heart chooses to love. I will be ready to talk someday; I promise but today is not the day. I hope you had a fun and safe time at the prom.  
Your mother, forever and always

Alyssa’s lower lip trembled as she finished reading. She put the letter down slowly and reverently, her eyes not leaving the letter. Even though her mother’s handwriting had gotten messier toward the end, the emotion shone through. While Alyssa still had a lot to think about, she could sleep peacefully tonight. She grabbed a handful of Cheezits, the only remedy for the shock of what her mother had said. She numbly chewed, her mother’s words swimming through her head in snippets. Even from the snippets Alyssa could see a new, happy future. A changed future.


End file.
